Character motivation guide for In the Real World by Nōnen Títi
Remember not to judge a book by its cover, or, if you do, do not jump to conclusions.
This post, which explains the complex relations and behaviours of the characters in light of their psychotype (personality type) functions and attitudes, will be of interest to those people who have read the book.
I am putting all three of my young adult novels on a website for teacher resources, for which I had to provide a PDF for use in a classroom. With each of the books I offer some free resources for teachers, and for In the Real World I offer this character guide, published as PDF with an explanation of psychotypes and a discussion about conflict, and references to my book.
Here I will limit myself to the character descriptions only.
Mariette and Jerome
Mariette and Jerome are both introverts and they used to be very close when younger, sharing a make-believe world between them. Each still uses creative writing as their outlet and for exploring their ideas or feelings; they are word people. Some hormonal impulses are awakening in them – there are kids who get this long before this age – and during the prank war, both end up compromising their own sense of right and wrong.
The story starts on Anzac Day weekend (around April 25th) at the start of the second school term for the year, and covers the conflicts that follow when the unresolved issues of this ‘first (prank) war” are transferred to the school, causing a “second war”. The story ends with them leaving school for good around Armistice (November of the same year), which is halfway the fourth term.
Mariette is the character who gets the most negative responses from readers, especially those who focus on immediate action and not the larger picture of causes and underlying emotions. She is classed as the instigator, the one who can’t control herself and “should” behave.
To begin with, many readers might have an issue with the idea of Mariette being an introvert, but introversion is not about how much you talk or socialize, but about where you get your energy, and, especially, your relation with the outside world, and what Mariette expresses to the world are her ideas and her words, but she does that through her subjective perspective and she seeks time alone to energize. Her personality revolves around her introverted emotive values (Fi), which remain hidden and make it hard for others to understand her, while her words, even when she is not stressed or angry, come easily when it concerns global matters (matters of Ne), but the moment it is personal (feelings or physical), she keeps them private.
Mariette has an introverted persuasive attitude (IP), which means she is generally not judgmental, but pretty good at manipulating (especially when angry). She does not internalize the social norms and has learned that lying is a safer way to respond, because when she tells the truth, like at school or to her mother about homework, she ends up berated or told to be quiet.
Mariette starts the story as a happy adolescent, going to the farm of her grandparents, looking forward to having some fun. She is not particularly interested in politics or boys, but she has friends and life has been pretty good to her, so far. Her inner value system is already present, so she asks “how can you have rules about killing people?”, but at that point she is not really interested in war. Unlike Lizette and Jerome, she does not use explicit war terminology for the pranks.
During the weekend she is assaulted, which makes her feel violated, humiliated, furious and out for revenge. Not only does she feel physically attacked, but she is denied being a person; she is treated as bait for Lizette. Her inner sense of authentic Self, her Fi, which is all that matters, is being treated like a piece of meat, a toy to entice somebody else, and that, more than the physical aspect, injures her. Apart from that, she is trying to deal with her guilt for having ratted Lizette out, since she has learned that risking injury is brave and seeking safety makes people weak or worthless, and there is an unspoken guilt, which came with what she felt inside. She was not only frightened, disgusted with the worms and angry for the assault, but within her a sexual urge awakened that she is barely aware of, has no idea what to do with, and which is absolutely not allowed in a situation like that.
In an unconscious but natural response in order to protect her Self, the introverted filters (Fi, which guards her emotions and Si, which as a weaker function is already often not noticed or ignored), so that all the energy that cannot flow through these filters now comes pouring out the other two: Ne is out gathering more and more information to support her increasing obsession with men being violators and because perception serves justification, all that is noticed is that which supports that view. Meanwhile, Te expresses on behalf of the other functions in floods of angry words, exaggerated language and deliberate provocations. This, being her weakest function or filter – she becomes overly and expressively critical – the angrier she is, the better the words flow, affecting the world around her, and the more determined she is to affect the world with those words.
Her better expression, more controlled, comes when she writes, when the global picture that is emerging from her extraverted intuition (Ne) allows her to see connections, universals and patterns and make comparisons between situations, times and places.
Over the weeks that follow, because it is not discussed or talked about, and done off with “where two people fight” and “think about what Jerome feels”, she gets stuck in “a lump of anger” and in denial of her own body: she cannot speak without scorn, cannot wash, barely eats and barely sleeps, has no idea why, but turns it into hate against men in general, because that is an easily identifiable group, and against her mother, who comments and berates her for this.
Things totally fall apart when, in addition, she begins to learn about the ‘real world’, about politics and the disposability of human life in name of this greater good that does not exist for her, and which emphasizes the denial of the value of a person.
She does not get time to understand these concepts, because too much information is thrown at them in too short a time; not just the wars, but the incongruencies between promises and reality, and the information about personalities that put everything in a different light again.
All she knows is that she feels furious about being told to be an individual but treated like a number, being told she has a voice, but forced to be quiet, not even being allowed to question, and generally being belittled. The spiral is denial of body, denial of voice, denial of person.
Revenge is a natural method of feeling justice for Mariette, and yet, even if she consciously wants to take her anger out on Jerome, she has trouble doing so. They had a fairly close bond; he comes across as sensitive, which is emphasized when she reads his poems, so she finds a scapegoat. As Mr Shriver later says, she decided to be angry at men in general, and the principal was simply an easy target, even if he, personally, had done nothing, except represent the system. And the system in Mariette’s emerging bigger picture uses uniforms as symbols of the denial of humanity and individuality – being a number, just a piece of meat in the herd. Having just come out of history, where the assumed right of governments in times of war caused even more emotional turmoil inside her, she then blows up to the person she had already vilified.
Since she cannot apologize without denying her own Self, even after she had time to calm down over the weekend, Mariette gets suspended, only to get inundated with more horror stories related to war and what her grandparents went through.
But before Grandpa Will tells her those, she talks to her grandmother about that night, or rather, what Granannie does is put her hand “where the memory sits”, and almost physically shifts the energy and with that opens the shut filters, so that physical tears can flow. Only then do things start to appear better.
After six weeks on the farm, Mariette does not want to go back to school, because she anticipates judgment and jokes about what happened. If she had simply been made to go back to school, she would have calmed down the moment she realized that most of her class had long forgotten the incident, but when Karen mentions the contract she will be forced to sign, all anger comes back.
From a manipulation “game”, she now gets furious at her mother for arranging this, and starts using anger and threats, goes totally overboard and gets eventually silenced by Grandpa Will.
Did she ask for it? You bet.
As Grandpa Will explains later, she needed somebody to make her, so that she does not have to feel that she sold her Self out – Mariette cannot compromise her authentic Self, since that is her dominant function and identity, and Grandpa Will stops the angry energy without any scolding or admonition.
Mariette then tries to get herself kicked out of school, because she won’t live down the humiliation of being set back a year – which is an assumption on her part – so she refuses to cooperate in classes and begins to find ways to play the manipulation game at school.
However, she is beginning to get acknowledged as an individual; she is taken seriously by some adults, and had time to think about all these new ideas, and she soon settles down a little. Things seem to get better and she shows that she can be in charge and mature for a good cause during the rest of the third term.
However, by this time, the seed of the next war has been planted in the school already, so that, the betrayal after the term break, reignites all the fury, whose global model is too aware of the deceptions and from an obsession with males and uniforms, she now directs all her anger at PM personally. She becomes a bit of a dictator, invading meetings and instigating riots.
When Mr Shriver dies, this same insight allows her to see the similarities with soldiers and what happens in wars. She feels guilty, and desperate for an adult to take charge, so she starts exploiting the ‘game’ with Mr Fokker, because he seems the only one who, at that point, understands her. But as Jerome says, he is not in the proper social position to do what needs doing, and he eventually risks his job to do so anyway.
Jerome is more obviously the introvert. He starts more insecure, but also insightful, and having taken way more responsibility than he should have had at his age. In addition, he has been bullied, lost his family and had one episode of being angry enough to try and burn somebody’s house down. What we see of Jerome, however, is his compliance, his outward turned sympathetic reasoning and emotive understanding (Fe), which meets the world in name of his dominant intuition (Ni), which he experiences as flashes of insights, premonitions, holistic understanding of how things are related with regard specific instances, which is why he “senses the remnants of a visitor” and “already knows” what Mr Fokker comes for.
He uses his poetry to work through feelings or situations that are difficult; the words make these clearer for him. For Jerome, truth reasoning is introverted (Ti), which shows in a tendency to over-analyse, a lack of resolve, and less inclination to spit out his thoughts verbally. He stays in the background, but, once he had time to introspect, he knows he can rely on his intuitions.
Jerome’s need to belong to his peer group (IJ) stops him from standing alone against his cousins; he obeys the leader and allows the event, the situation and his Se (being weak and less controlled) to take him for a ride. Thus, in the heat of the prank war, Jerome abides by the wishes of his peers, not because he wants to, but because he has this big need to be in the team. He allows his Fe to justify this by telling himself that he is always alone, has no mother and so on. He sees the danger for Lizette, but his tendency to weigh up possibilities make him wait too long – a loop of perfectionism – and he does nothing.
The other boys act mostly on instinct, until Stuart ‘wakes up’ in response to Mariette’s cry for help.
Jerome immediately feels guilty, but then Dad attacks him and confuses everything.
Jerome contemplates quitting life rather than having to go to Mariette’s, because he knows how furious she will be. But he goes anyway. Something in him believes that he deserves to be punished, but, as Grandpa Will suggests, he may also feel that Charl’s response was his just desert.
As things get slowly better, Jerome shows his natural tendency to being judgmental a few times: to his Dad, but also when he wonders why his aunt and cousins can’t keep their feelings inside.
It’s actually Jerome, much more than both Karen and Mariette, who can’t keep his feelings inside, since what comes out, sometimes against his will, are his true feelings, while Karen and Mariette use another function to express with; their true feelings are shielded.
The more Mariette seems to need him, the stronger Jerome becomes. He is shocked by Grandpa Will’s response to Mariette, projecting his own anticipated feelings, until Grandpa Will points out that she is a different person. Besides that, Jerome is not totally sure about it not being wrong, because that is the current view of his society – even if in Australia this has not yet been legalized, the moral beliefs are those of the west – and his Fe tends to internalize those beliefs.
Jerome enjoys the action when things seem to be within moral and legal standards, but easily worries when those are threatened. He believes that norms are inevitable and a good thing, but that does not mean simply accepting what those are – Js accept the idea of norms, but will debate their content – and although his ethical values are more in line with those of the society, his subjective self gives them an individual angle, so that, when his inner values cannot agree with standing up for the anthem, he experiences an internal dilemma, because he also does not want to get into trouble.
Likewise, being more aware of his emerging sexuality, he feels more towards Mariette than just as his cousin, which he also believes to be wrong. Twice his body takes over and makes him do things he regrets minutes later.
Granannie (from experience) sees this, which is why she talks about dominant or submissive. Even if Mariette narrates this part, Jerome understands the message much better than she does.
Jerome loves the routine at his uncle’s house, not just because he never had much of this; he loves it, because his personality (J) needs routine or else his digestive and sleeping patterns become confused. He feels it as his obligation to keep Mariette out of trouble, like he used to his dad, and that natural tendency is strengthened by at least three people saying she needs him.
In the end he takes Mariette’s side, insisting she didn’t do anything wrong. He probably does not totally believe that himself, but he wants to be that rein he wrote in his poem about her.
If hurt too often, people like Jerome could shut people out for good, in which case Fe, which cannot so easily shut down, because it is extraverted (a wide open door) makes a deliberate and conscious choice to protect the Self – if you can’t shut off the input, then you avoid the person. Jerome threatens to do this to Mariette right after he read her story and he might have, had she not invaded his room at night.
Where Mariette expresses her hurt (Fi) in anger to the outside world, for Jerome the hurt comes out (Fe), but because he anticipates and worries over what others will say, the anger often remains inside, until, right before Anzac Day, after having obsessed over GG since Christmas, he decides to burn his house down. Suddenly the bucket is full and the angry energy can no longer be contained. In “a moment of total rage”, these are the acts that surprise neighbours – although in this case Jerome had calculated and planned for this act, so it was less of an impulse.
Their cousins and “that night”
Actually, there are two “that nights”, because Jerome has a Christmas night that is equally playing on his conscience; the night he accidentally walked in on Nikos and his dad.
But the night of the prank war (like the night Mariette invaded Jerome’s room and Granannie talked to both of them), Jerome’s Se (being much more aware than Mariette’s Si) takes over, even if for only a brief moment. He believes it wrong, but he knows it is there.
Stuart is in charge, usually a quiet and easy-going person, he is also a perceiver and lets the event (the moment or perceptions) take over. In addition, he lacks the anticipatory insight; he reacts to the moment and only realizes the danger when Mariette shouts for help right next to him; his Fi picks up the authenticity of that. But then his Se jumps into action and manages to find Lizette without Stuart needing to think about it. This sensory function is so in tune with the world that it has no need for deliberation. Even if people of his type are usually not easily ruffled, once told what could have happened, he starts feeling terribly guilty and ends up asking Grandpa Will for help.
The other two boys, Glen and Toine are tougher and also focused on the moment and the here and now and not on possible consequences. Jerome therefore stood alone in warning for the danger, but was not assertive enough.
Like Jerome, Mariette, also has her mind on possibilities rather than the here and now, and she foresees all kinds of possible scenarios of what could go wrong, long before the boys have done anything. Just being there is enough. She is no hero; she is in danger and will say anything to get out of it. Mariette is not a perceiver, but a justifier, so that in her mind there’s a clear demarcation between fun and war and the boys have overstepped it.
Lizette has a similar attitude to Mariette (IP), but opposite functions. Her Ti rules and is backed by Se, which gives her physical and mental toughness and cool, but a lack of foresight into the danger. Lizette is the type who is decorated in times of war, and outstanding in crises, yet in times of peace, these types are seldom appreciated. They tend to thrive on danger, which makes them feel alive, so that Lizette has no guilt, just believed the whole thing was a great game.
Their friends
At school, Kathleen and Fred both share with Mariette and Jerome their N perception. Fred’s type, although a natural leader, often does not come into its own until at university. He keeps a school shirt in his bag, so that, at home, he can pretend to wear it for his conservative parents, while at school he dresses to belong to his peer group. He likes the pranks, but is also somewhat judgmental, like when he immediately warns Jerome not to go to Mr Shriver’s house, because that is not appropriate. Stories go around and Fred accepts those. In a less tolerant school, Fred would probably not go around with tally books and messed up shirts. He chooses his goals and, although he is naturally conscientious, he quite easily adopts the views of those who are more passionate than he is.
Kathleen and Mariette are quite close, except that Kathleen is an extravert, which also makes her a perceiver (Ne dominant); she responds to events, pokes fun at the situation, and, although she can anticipate consequences, sometimes things come out of her mouth (Te) before she thinks about it. Easily distracted, she stands her own ground and when Mariette goes too far, more or less literally takes her down.
Kathleen’s father is close to her in type – she says she is like her dad – but his auxiliary is Ti instead of Fi – which makes him tougher, more challenging to the system, more analytical, keener on coming out on top. Both adapt the justifications to the moment, but unlike Jerome’s, their perceptions come from the global world in an endless stream of possibilities and challenges. Life is never boring with them around. Also unlike Jerome, since their justification is turned inward, they don’t look for explanations in the existing norms, but create their own, which makes them able to instantly find answers to everything, or have an immediate comeback in a comical situation; not only can they make it up on the spot, but more often than not, the answer escapes them before they have taken time to think it through. But Kathleen has not enough passion for Mariette’s cause to go beyond a bit of fun.
Charlotte is similarly a perceiver, bound by reality, not by social rules, and out of boredom resorts to jokes and sometimes inappropriate back-talking. But her perceptions are material and practical (Se dominant) and that is how she responds and acts, with physical references and with physical attacks if needed, and always challenging the system just to see how much she can get away with. This provides her with an easy leadership role and admirers, but also with a chance to impose and threaten. Her weaker Fe is used as charm for the purpose of getting to her goal, for example when she fancies Jerome, but her weakest and introverted Ni misses relations and under stress she resorts to blatant stereotyping and she does not realize that she changes allegiance or contradicts herself later; she lives totally in the moment. She picks up physical vibes (Se) flawlessly, including Mariette’s, even if she explains them wrong, analysing (Ti) instead of picking up motivations. People like her need strong rules and adults who set limits; both are lacking in this school.
Mick is, as Kathleen’s dad observes, a teen with a broken heart. He might have secretly been in love with Mariette, and he might have used his initial moves for this reason, being also inclined to allow justification (Te) to serve perception (Ni), to respond to events. Yet he is very outspoken in his ideas and when he gets obsessed, he starts to nit-pick at small things, losing resolve. Eventually, he goes too far, in a more disastrous way than Mariette. Mick (like Jerome) creates his own reality in his head and this may fail to match the outer reality, at which point he finds reasons to justify his perceptions and his stealing information and making physical threats to the secretaries – justifications Charlotte accepts and begins to act on without necessarily considering their reason.
Their parents
Jerome’s father has a lot of problems, is not by nature a strong personality, has on top of that been spoiled and never had much responsibility and when things go wrong at home, he resorts to alcohol.
Jerome naturally took over and Charl let him. Both should have called for help much earlier, but there is that social stigma that still existed (when the book was written) about gay couples and both Jerome and Charl are open to the rules of the society with their second function (Fe). Only for Charl, this backs up not introverted intuition, but introverted sensing (Si), so that for him the immediate here and now and the proper form are much more important than possibilities. They would have emphasized each other’s weaknesses. Charl would have also felt guilty for letting Jerome take charge, and he has a similar surge of rage as later described for Beth, when he beats up his son.
In addition, Charl’s system was already closed because of the alcohol, which can paralyze the top functions, the strengths, so that the weaker functions have even less guidance. Later, the pills have the same effect; they not only shut down his dominant Si, but his extraverted Fe, his outlet; anti-depressants shut off all feelings.
Nikos is the same type as Kathleen’s dad, but a calmer version, probably as a result of different personal experiences. He finds his challenge in the academic world, in which his global thinking (Ne-Ti) comes out in his explanation of suburbs and social roles. Nikos is the stabilizer for Charl and Jerome, being more extraverted and intellectual. Jerome can talk with him about different things than with his dad. Nikos also took the kids out, which would have been especially important for Rowan, who is also extraverted, because Charl and Jerome would have sat indoors.
Jerome gets on fine with Aunt Karen, because she provides that stability he longs for and he is the ideal child she may wish for. However, would he have grown up with her from the start, she could have over-dominated him and unlike Mariette, who fights back when somebody attacks her person, Jerome might have ended up feeling unable to express.
Karen’s extraverted resolve and reasoning (Te) rules, while she measures her truths and reality to the objective world, so that, despite being a generally cheerful person (when the kids behave) and having plenty of friends, there is absolutely no place in her for accepting differences in beliefs and norms. Mariette is her polar opposite in all functions. The only thing they have in common is that beliefs rule over perceptions, so that they have no internal dilemmas and their fights are over ideas in the external world. Virtually everything Karen says feels wrong to Mariette (and vice versa) and she deliberately steps on the traditions and beliefs that keep Karen secure.
Karen’s global intuition (Ne) isn’t as well developed, causing a tendency to stereotyping, while her stronger perception is sensing form and propriety (Si), which brings in the data Karen’s resolve uses to try and force her rules, which is why she judges every action to the norms and expresses that judgment – which Charl, who might also feel that, does not do. He swallows it and gets sick.
However, when totally stressed, and Mariette drives her to that limit, Karen loses her resolve and becomes insecure.
Gerard is different. He is a gentle compensator for Karen. His introversion allows him to appeal to the individual, which Mariette understands and he is non-judgmental. He also clicks with Mariette, because his Fi rules, like hers, although he combines it with Se, which allows for a much more peaceful and nature-based valuing. He does not easily get upset about things, does not push his beliefs and is non-confrontational. But as his Ni is weak, he does not worry about things unless they are in front of him and he does not see Mariette’s need for patterns or discussing topics and concepts – they watch the news and let it go. His Te, like Mariette’s is extraverted and weakest, but as a mature adult, he does not let it run away. Mariette does not fight with her father, because her father does not say “you should” or “behave”; he says “I would like to be acknowledged”. He pleads for his person, not some anonymous third party, so she does not feel dismissed.
The main problem Mariette has with her father is that she needs him – not her mother who she naturally clashes with – to take charge. Both Mariette and Karen need Gerard to step in when things go wrong between them. Instead, Gerard, who cannot deal with conflict very well, tries to get his wife to back off rather than stop Mariette. He says he likes having Jerome; that is because Jerome causes a lot less conflict, not because he doesn’t love or understand Mariette.
Their grandparents
Granannie and Grandpa Will don’t have the problems of the parents, to start with because they come from a different generation; a generation where it was expected that children obey their elders and that is how they raised their own family. All their grandkids obey them, even if they try here and there – but they know when to quit; Miranda “chooses” to save her backside – because their grandparents make it clear they have the last word and therefore, the kids have the result in their own hands – I have previously explained how this aids the development of a healthy Self (Concerto: 223).
Even if some of the other “grans” would have been different, the two that are left are both Ps, meaning they are not bound to social norms; they see them and acknowledge them, but they don’t expect their kids and grandkids to take them at face value. Grandpa Will is not overly bothered that Mariette lied about the letter; he looked for intent. He does not scold or attack Mariette’s person; he merely stops the loop of anger, the behaviour and immediately gives her back her personal rights by asking if she thinks she is calm enough to go through.
Similarly, Granannie only objects because “…I may be old, but I am not stupid.” Likewise, they don’t scold Jerome for what some might consider inappropriate behaviour or feelings. They merely put it in perspective.
Granannie has Mariette’s personality type, like Jerome’s grandmother (Beth) is close to his – by which I am not suggesting this is genetic – and despite the different era, some things don’t change. Granannie says about her mother “my sense of honour found that so unimaginable”, so she is saying the same thing as we see Mariette doing.
Grandpa Will is extraverted and insightful, and would no doubt, in the past have pushed all the limits, Ne rules but with Fi as its balance, meaning he ‘reads’ atmosphere, while motivations and empathy, which he might not show, supports his actions and words. More than anything, he is the story teller, prone to fun, but with the big global picture that allows him to pull all events together. Third is his Te, resolve, which makes him a force to be reckoned with and, in light of his beliefs about child rearing, not hesitant to take charge.
Both grandparents, because of their experiences and their insights, believe that the standard stories that portray soldiers as heroes and doing their duty, are doing more harm than good, but their attempt to ban talking about wars altogether turns out not to work either – a notion that is later raised by Mr Fokker when he asks whether not remembering wars stop them from happening. Well, clearly not.
They help out where they can, especially those parents who are not standing as strong in today’s society. They are the ones who don’t wait too long with stepping in, because they do not have that social pressure of today, and especially those kids who need limits, like Mariette, feel safe in such an environment.
Their teachers
Let’s start with the maths teacher, who is totally cool. He ignores all the upheaval and concentrates on what he is there for. He does not admonish or scold or belittle; he simply teaches maths. Of course, he has it easy, since maths is an impersonal and impartial topic, so that the human aspects can be totally ignored.
Mr Shriver and Mr Moralis are ruled by their sympathy and emotive reasoning (Fe), making decisions with the intent of keeping or restoring harmony, and with as their weakest logic, analysis or principles (Ti). Both struggle with the assertiveness and growing independence of high schoolers, but Mr Shriver has a lot of personal experience with people like Mariette and similar situations; he has learned to deal with these and his natural tendency is to help people grow. He has the emotive insight and can see possibilities (Ni), and, therefore, can put his own expectations into perspective, so that he is willing to let them discuss or go beyond the written curriculum. He does not take from the global picture in this, but, like Jerome, focuses on individual people and the instance. He is most likely somewhat spiritual inclined and open to new wave thinking. He has a lot more trouble dealing with Mariette, exactly because he can’t hide his feelings and she provokes them.
For Mariette, Mr Shriver gains in her respect, the moment he presents himself as a human being instead of a social role (a teacher).
Mr Moralis uses his senses (Si) to support his need for harmony and thus focuses on form and established manners in the here and now. Mr Moralis cannot deal with Mariette’s anger at all. He has the natural personality to organize, but his strength in is logistical organization, and although he might have been okay as principal of a primary school, where everybody sticks to their role, the emerging voices of teenagers are too much for him. He keeps trying to be friendly, trying to appease, with as a result that he comes across as inconsistent and he keeps referring to his social position, which Jerome (like Mr Shriver) can accept, but Mariette (like Mr Fokker later) cannot. Mr Moralis calls in reinforcements and ignores the personal factor, because to him this is inappropriate in school.
Mariette says she will respect any adult who tries to explain, even if they can’t. Like to Gerard, Mariette does not yell at the geography teacher, because this teacher doesn’t tell her to shut up and obey, or refer to her duty. She tries to explain, using the cake metaphor, says “we all work for the same baker”. She answers truthfully; they are all stuck in the system, and Mariette accepts that.
Miss Coven, herself still very young, and probably not naturally good at dealing with kids, lacks the confirmation she needs before making decisions. Like Charl, her (Si) rules, so that she relies on form, while traditional beliefs and truths (Te) support this view. She can be tough, but only once she has established where she stands, and, like to Karen, Mariette destroys these traditions.
The difference between universal and particular causes the argument with Miss Coven. She relates to the particular: this country, that war, our soldiers or the current laws, so she denies that things happen at home, because those are the truths she has internalized. But Mariette, Jerome and a few more refer to the universal (as does Grandpa Will): all soldiers: if no soldiers exist, war and tyranny could not happen, so that soldiers (in general, the concept) are responsible for all war and misery, but Miss Coven can indeed “not see” how her view comes across to those who naturally look at the big picture.
Unlike Mr Moralis, Mr Fokker is better in a high school than a primary school. He adapts his lectures to what the students are focused on and allows them their opinion. His own natural intellectual insights (Ne) and non-conformist tendencies (P), love the emerging opinions of the students. He does eventually get angry, but he claims that anger for himself (I), as a person; he does not justify it using greater good or social roles, so Mariette can respect that. But he leads with Ti, like Lizette, making him tougher and less driven by ethical issues. His age and experience also play a role in that. But Mr Fokker feels as outraged as Mariette at the deception after the term break, even if, as an adult, he cannot show that, so he starts feeding the students material to make them think; he secretly enjoys Mariette’s dissent and hence lets her go way too far before stepping in, which he later acknowledges. He tries to protect her from herself.
Mr Fokker does not have a choice but to smack her, for the same reason that Mariette wants to get kicked out. He won’t stand by and let them judge him, so he instigates their response. He has seen all this before. They won’t get pleasure out of a win.
Mr Moralis says, “I don’t understand you people…”, at the very end when he realizes that Mariette and Mr Fokker are somehow alike. But Mr Moralis never knew what hit him, because Mariette’s initial anger came from what happened at the farm and she used the principal as a symbol.
He asks, “What did I ever do to you?”, at which point he refers to the personal relation, but the whole point was that he rejected that personal aspect before. What he had done was deny her autonomy and individuality.
Mr Fokker and Mr Shriver, being friends, talk to each other and have each heard much more of the story than the principal has. They understand what is going on under the surface and they have established rapport with their students, in which Mr Shriver’s natural empathy would have made the connections easily.
Mr Moralis does not have to feel guilty about Mr Shriver, even if he was equally involved as Mariette, because he measures his conscience to the rules and he followed the rules.
Mariette and Mr Fokker
Initially, their relationship starts when he expresses awareness that she might be hurt. Soon he starts to accept her anger and asks her to write, and, no doubt, he reads those essays, and his principle-based reasoning is dominant (Ti), which is why he especially enjoys the word play and the dictionary quotes, while his weakest function is his extraverted emotive reasoning and sympathy (Fe). Because his are extraverted, he does pick up Mariette’s needs, even if he has less control over this function, probably because he is an adult with lots of experience and kids of his own that age.
They communicate through those essays, having entire conversations and exchanges in metaphor or analogies, and this is why Mariette insists that it is nobody’s business than theirs that he hit her, because she had given him permission to do so if she messed up. She had written it; they both knew it, and much of the silent conversation immediately after would have been about that.
Their relationship is an example of that game, Mr Shriver describes in his English class; that game that can be played intelligently if you are aware of it, because, after all, the initial attraction can happen to anybody. They have that attraction, which is for him mostly to her passion and ability to see the global picture the way he does. For her, there is more the need for the stronger father (Jerome notices) than the sexuality drive (which Charlotte hints at). Neither are physical people; they are word people, so they play the game with words, through ‘secret’ message writing. Mr Shriver may allude to people giving in to their physical impulses when he relates it to literature, and many inappropriate student-teacher situations are based on that, but even if the attraction overrides all social and cultural boundaries so that it is still a dangerous game, played at the edge of the acceptable, Mariette and Mr Fokker play it ‘intelligently’. It excites both of them. Both are super aware that it isn’t allowed, but that only fuels the feelings. This game is for them, not for an audience. The problem is that the game that interferes, the war game, is not played quite so intelligently, because the emotions take over.
Jerome and Mr Shriver
Jerome develops his relationship with Mr Shriver based on their love of literature and a number of similar experiences, rather than a shared personality type, although they share a lot of that, but Mr Shriver is an extravert; he much more naturally shares his feelings and expresses them, and with his natural need to care for others and provide emotional support, he sees Jerome’s need. Thus, they connect on literature, feelings and the need for a parental bond, which they both notice and accept; this is not subconscious between them, as Jerome later acknowledges in his poem.
There is nothing wrong with them meeting on Sunday’s, despite the school. Charlotte and Fred believing they can comment.
What they could have done differently.
What could Mariette have done differently?
Well, as the instigator of this war, carrying the anger of the previous war over, so as to start a new one, she is responsible for most of the problems. However, she can’t change her personality; she can’t change that she is still young and has little experience; she can’t change that the adults around her are not allowed to stop her before things get out of hand; she can’t change the bias towards some personalities, and she was not responsible for what the boys did.
She asks, without words, for help from the adults and she continues to do so, until things have gone way too far.
What could Jerome have done differently?
Not that much, really. He adapts to the situations and the changing environment pretty well, apart from having trouble accepting his father – today (only fifteen years later) with the sudden acceptance of LGBTQA, this would be much less of an issue.
It would have been better had he informed his grandparents and not confronted his dad or much sooner called for their help, but he learns from it and calls them to help Mariette.
He is, by his very nature, very mature, but, as Granannie explains later, there is the risk of a sudden rage and a tendency to be judgmental and think he knows better. But he learns from being with Mariette; he begins to see that she may be unpredictable and over the top, but she also stops things from becoming stagnant or dogmatic.
What could the parents have done differently?
Had Gerard stepped in, he could have prevented many instances of food flying across the kitchen, angry words and hurt feelings. No matter how hard it is for him, his family needs him to stop things from getting out of hand. He would do well to remember his own childhood, the times he did get a spanking, which he admits he did, and that it did him no harm nor make him hate his parents, and Mariette is very much like him. Both Karen and Mariette need him to stand by his wife and stop his daughter instead of the other way around.
Karen’s personality type is the only one which has all objective perspectives, which makes it very difficult for her to imagine another perspective. She cannot change who she is, but maybe she can learn that people are not all the same; she may not see it, but she will take the word of authority – of course, most of those are a similar type to Karen.
The kids are equally aware of that threat to their parents, and they abuse that, which is why Mariette challenges both Mr Shriver and her mother, suggesting that Karen will lose Miranda if she hits and Kathleen makes a suggestion about physical force that embarrasses Mr Shriver.
Charl already realizes what he should have done differently.
Kathleen’s dad was warned, like Mariette, by Grandpa Will, but he, too, insisted on pushing it, so despite his own warning to Mariette, he and his family also became victims.
What could the school have done differently?
Like Mariette, so Mr Moralis, if he had done just some things differently, could have prevented the war altogether. Just about everything both of them did made it worse. Mariette was looking for authority, but there was none at the school. Mr Moralis could have accepted Mr Fokker dealing with her, but he called Karen and thereby gave all the power directly back into Mariette’s hands.
Running away was definitely not the answer. No matter what problems, Mr Moralis was in charge and he left it up to his teachers to solve his problems. He should certainly not have used the younger kids as spies; likewise, for how he treats Miss Coven.
This is why Mariette says he does the job of leader, but he isn’t one inside.
The principal tries too hard to be friendly with the students, which they don’t need of him. Considering his job, it would help everybody if he learned about personalities and not expect all students to be copies of each other, no matter how much easier it is to treat them as a group. Like Karen, he must get this from an authority.
The problem of this particular school, which other schools may not have, is that both the principal and the vice principal have trouble with providing the authority and structure needed by kids that age. They are too similar; they cannot complement each other. Just like in families, the adults running an institution, need to provide different strengths, so that, together, they provide a wide range of skills. Nikos provides that balance for Charl. Karen and Gerard are pretty well balanced in many aspects.
Mr Fokker decides to step in when PM runs away because somebody needs to step in, and Mr Shriver came to him for help. Mr Fokker dismisses the year tens for a week, so as to restore peace. However, he gets in trouble for that, later.
Mr Shriver was the natural mediator. He does what he can.
Mr Fokker, as said, gets caught up in the game and does not step in in time, which is why he later insists that Mariette is not responsible for Mr Shriver’s death; he should have been there, and which is why he risks his job and becomes defiant as well.
Both Mr Fokker and Kathleen’s father push against the system and lose their position; they became allies with Mariette. The person who tried to mediate lost his life.
Thank you for reading,
Nōnen Títi, 2012. In the Real World (first published 2008).
https://www.nonentiti.com/books/7-In-the-Real-World
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